Happy Herman's Hideaway

Hello, my San Saba dears, and I hope you had a great week since last we spoke. If you get your paper in the mail, then it arrives on Thursday which means you will be reading this on March 19th, and also mom’s birthday. She is a rabbit’s hair from being officially old because this time next year she will not only be staring at seventy in the face, but it will include her entire body. I am sure she would tell you her heart is still young and I suppose it is true in most ways, but her ticker, like a bad tempered mule, does tend to kick her. If you would like to know what I got mom for her birthday, I will tell you…slobber, well really a kiss. But since I am a dachshund, it was mostly slobber. As most mom’s do, she loved it to pieces!

I don’t know much about parties, mostly because we do not have them. But our neighbors seem to have a lot of them, and I want to know if they affect the volume control on human voices. I ask because usually around 2 or 3 in the morning, people are outside screaming, whooping, yelling and laughing in a voice that sounds like they swallowed loud speakers! Do they run out of snacks and begin eating the electronics in the house? Personally, I don’t care what they do, but I would like to be in charge of all the remotes so I could press mute!

Have you ever been watching a movie and someone says… “Oh, I read that when I was in school.” Mom says that constantly and I think dad sometimes thinks she is trying to be a smart aleck, but then she will say…“I remember when my sister Anna used to read us stories from the roll of toilet paper! I loved the stories she would make up.” I look over at dad, wink and tell him…“Dad, never worry about mom having read so many books, a lot of them ended up getting flushed down the toilet…they weren’t worth the paper they were written on.”

I have decided I can’t do anything about the squirrel invasion in the backyard so unless they actually invade dachshund jail, I pay them no mind. If Rowena can act like little Miss Diva Devil then I can be Mr. Dandy Dachshund and stick my nose up in the air too, and even higher than hers. Sometimes I go out there and in fine Monty Python fashion, I turn my rear end toward her and say… “I fart in your general direction!” Hey, it may be crass, but it is far better than hunting her down and hurting her. I am more for comic intervention than tension.

Something else I believe in is you, my San Saba friends. I believe in your strength of character, your generosity, kindness and loving nature. Communicating with you each week brings such a joy to my dachshund heart and a connection to my heart that has grown exponentially over the years. You have become as much a part of my family as I talk about them each week on these inked pages. I hope you have a wonderful week, and thank you for being.