Happy Herman's Hideaway

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What A Treat

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Hello, my lovely San Saba friends, and how are you? I sure hope you have had lollipop dreams and ice cream days since last we spoke. Oh wait, I am wishing you a diabetic coma, obesity, sludge in your arteries and long visits with Dr. Whiting…let me rephrase that…hope you had a nice week.

I do apologize; I am afraid I have food on the brain. But then again, I am a dachshund, so would one really expect otherwise? Actually mom does. She seems genuinely surprised when not long after breakfast I begin to whine for a treat, and yet I have been doing the same thing every day for over four years now. I tell you guys, it is a bit frightening as mom is the really educated person in our home!

Speaking of treats, a very dear friend sent me a gift box of the best treats I have ever had in my life, and I am so addicted I am trying to devise a way to break them out of the prison mom has them in. You see, she only allows me one at a time, and even that one she breaks up into the tiniest of bites for me! Let me fill you in on a bit of a secret, my loves: just because your pet woofs down their food does not mean they do not savor the culinary experience. Mom asked me the other evening if I even tasted what she was feeding me…I opened my mouth and answered…“Look; my mouth is empty. You have fed me nothing!” That, my dears, is our evil genius! We are quite brilliant in so many ways. I knew what was in the package my friend sent from California the moment it arrived…I got so excited I sniffed it like a drug dog sniffing a package full of cocaine!

My squirrel friend, Rowena, and I have ironed our differences, and yet she still insists on over stepping boundaries. I was in the living room the other afternoon, heard a bit of a ruckus, looked out the back door, and there was Rowena in dachshund jail going through all my stuff! Naturally I protested, well actually, if I am honest, I went a bit insane. And what does she do? Gives me a tail wave and goes about her business happy as ever! Mom was in another room when the Rowena incident occurred, came to see what the fuss and bother was about, and when I told her she said…“Herman, were you injured by Rowena’s actions? Did she assault you in any way? If the answer is no, then you really have no reason to be so upset with her. Sweetheart, that is what is so wrong with this world; people are blinded by their own need to be right, to hold on to what is theirs so tightly they have no room in their lives, their hearts or theirs souls for anyone or anything else. The more you open up to the world, the more it opens to you, and surprisingly, my dear Herman, fairer and just it will be.” I love you, my San Saba dears, and I thank you ever so much for being!