Notes from the Spring Creek Arts Guild

Rosie

I have three dogs who are thirteen, twelve, and three years old, all female. The oldest is a border collie who, apart from a little arthritis, is still doing all the border collie things. The youngest, a mixed breed stock dog type, is such a sweet and beautiful girl. The second oldest, an Australian shepherd named Rosie, has been my special girl since the day she arrived.

If you have spent much time around Aussies, you know that they tend to choose one person as theirs to love and protect above all others. I have been Rosie’s person and as a result have felt loved and cared for in a way that I have never experienced before. That is not to disparage any of the humans in my life, but the fact is that humans have all sorts of things going on in daily life while a dog can be one hundred percent focused on their one person.

Not quite three years ago, Rosie had her first seizure. It was a big, bad, very physical type of seizure that happened one morning while she was sleeping on the floor next to my desk. I thought she was dying right before my eyes. She did survive that one, and went on to have another and another in the intervening months until we put her on medication and got it calibrated. For the past two years, she has had periods of several months seizure free, but has settled into having them about every three months. Each one leaves her a tiny bit weaker and the medication makes her sleep more and makes her less coordinated.

I decided in the beginning that as much as I wanted to hold on to my sweet girl, I would not let her suffer just so I could have her here. As much as I hate it, I believe the time has come for Rosie to leave us. By the time this is published, she will probably be gone. I keep telling myself that thing about “It is better to have loved and lost…” but this is so hard. I think it is hard because the love of a dog is so absolute and so pure.

I am so glad I have my other two girls, but to be honest, I am glad they are not as devoted to me alone as Rosie has been. At my age, I think I will not ever want another Aussie, as I am young enough to outlive another one and old enough to possibly leave one behind. I have seen other dogs die the same day or the day after their special person and I would not want to do that to an animal. And I am pretty sure my heart cannot handle losing another Aussie.

There will be some who read this and will not get how I could be so wound up about a dog. There will be others who read it and will totally get it. As badly as this hurts, I would not trade these last twelve years for anything. She has been worth every bit of it, and is worth all that will happen over the next few days. I will love you forever, Rosie, and sincerely hope that I see you again on the other side.