Charlie Brown was often chastised by Lucy. One of her favorite sayings to him was, “Good grief, Charlie Brown!” Although I’m not sure what Lucy meant, the term “good grief” does stir thoughts as to how a Christian grieves well in a time of loss. The Bible states, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope” (I Thessalonians 4:13, NLT). Here are some thoughts.
Grieve with hope. The promise of heaven allows the believer to grieve with anticipation that a reunion is coming one day with all those who have already been gathered to the Lord. The separation now brings sorrow to our hearts because we no longer fellowship with the one we love. But they are with the Lord now and one day we will join them. The Bible describes a future event when the Lord gathers His people together, saying, “And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord” (I Thessalonians 4:17, NKJ). Having faith in Jesus Christ enables us to grieve with hope.
Grieve with thankfulness. A tendency of grief is to move toward bitterness at the memories of the one we lost. The ache of the heart can stir a continual sadness that can lead to bitterness. One of the blessings of following Christ is the presence of the Holy Spirit, who brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control into our lives. Through our intention and the power of the Spirit, we can turn the bitterness into thankfulness. When a memory of the loved one stirs your heart, immediately and deliberately praise God for the person. Intend for every memory to move you toward thankfulness and not bitterness.
Grieve with trust. Trust God through the course of grief. Virtually every death comes with questions as to why did this happen. We wrestle, like Gideon, asking, “If God is for us, why has all this happened to us?” (Judges 6:13). Many of the Psalms begin with questions to God as to why, but end with praises to God expressing trust. The truth is, there are many questions with which we wrestle that do not have good answers. In times of grief, spend less time on things you do not know and more time on things you do know. We know heaven is real. We know God is love. We know God is in control. We know Christ conquered death. We know there is a reunion one day. We know that God will never leave us. David declared, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me” (Psalms 23:4, NKJ). Grief comes to every life, but God enables Christians to navigate through it with hope.