Finding Calm In Turmoil
Chaos? What chaos? Oh, you mean the Schulz life for the past few months. Well, thank for asking, my sweet San Saba loves, but first let me say how lovely you are looking in your spring attire. It is so refreshing to see bluebonnets dot the roadsides and fields, and I actually did have many chances to see them in my many, many drives to Baylor Scott and White hospital Temple with Mandy to see Harold.
I have been known to say I miss Houston because of the world renowned medical care offered in that city, such withstanding, the neurology team in Temple earned my trust and respect last week. I had to laugh, as one of the neurologists said to Harold, “Part of your recovery will be having a positive attitude.” Harold gave him such a look, and replied, “Oh man, you sound just like my wife!” I wish I found the surgery humorous, but not in any form is it. Harold had spinal surgery on his neck involving his C-2 through C-7 vertebrae, fusion, with a plate and screws attached. He will have quite a recovery process, but we are hopeful he will regain some of his former range of motion and mobility.
Mandy and I have spent so much time together, and we have both noticed a remarkable change in Harold, a seemingly frightened child appear before us. Life can often humble us in ways that make us feel smaller, more alone than a newborn puppy lost on the side of a country road. If we do not take the time to notice what is great about being alive, appreciate the joy in the smallest little pleasure, such as a cardinal in the backyard, squirrels chattering, cows standing in a pasture, horses in a field or the deer feeding in at dusk, the sound of our children playing, we miss some of the special in life. It seems to this writer, people are so angry today, or so wrapped up in a world they hope to create, that they have completely ignored the one they are living in now. I have faced death since I was 17 years old - first when my dad died, with my cancer, when my mom died, my heart attack, and now with heart failure, but all I have ever concentrated on is living until I don’t anymore. I, too, have an active child inside but not a frightened one; she is joyous, playful, silly, and mischievous. I wonder sometimes if you guys know how much I really love talking to you each week? If you understand how connected my heart feels to you?
One evening when Mandy and I were driving home and the light was fading, I was looking out the window at the quiet, majestic beauty that is the San Saba county countryside, and I felt such a pang of sadness because moving back to the Houston area would rob me of that quiet and beauty. I would be surrounded by throngs of people everywhere I go, and every acre of land would have buildings on it, every inch covered with roads, freeways, and tons of cars. Do I realize the move is what Harold needs? Yes. Will I find my calm in the turmoil? Hey, my San Saba loves, only if I can still talk to you guys. Thank you for being.