Herman’s Sense and Nonsense
Hello, my wonderful San Saba friends, and how are you? Well I just have to say if we are already experiencing temperatures in the 90’s in April; what does that portend for our summer? Hey, how do you like that word, portend… pretty fancy, huh? Do you know another dachshund who has such a big vocabulary? Oh wow, do I sound conceited…I best tone it down before mom comes in here and reads me the riot act. I am in no mood to hear her pontificate on the virtues of staying humble. Wow, there is another one…pontificate: I am virtual dachshund dictionary! Sometimes I surprise myself! It isn’t that mom expects me to roll over and play dumb; of course not. It is she expects me to display and express myself with quiet decorum. (another good word)
Mom has decided dachshund jail should look like a baseball field and has ordered fake grass to put in it. I am not quite sure how I feel about it or what she expects me to do, field grounders? It is more likely I will catch flies, but I swear if they are the size of baseballs I will be screaming for her to grab a camera, not to take pictures of them but to smash them! That sounded so mean and you know what, if I actually saw flies the size of baseballs I doubt I would have the heart to have them smashed because it would seem like murder.
Mom told me we are to have a new addition in our house, a dishwasher. She said she ordered it from Amazon. I have really big eyes, but you would not believe how big my eyes got when she told me this news. I got closer to her and said…“Mom, I know they sell almost everything on Amazon, but are you telling me they are now selling human beings and you bought someone to do dishes for us? I realize standing at the sink hurts your back terribly, but don’t you think what you are doing is a little extreme?” Mom’s laughter filled the house. She hugged me and said…“Herman, my adorable little dachshund, a dishwasher is a machine that washes dishes! No humans will be harmed in the process!” Oh man was I ever relieved!
I love you so very much, my San Saba sweethearts. I hope you have a wonderful week. Life sometimes seems like a runaway roller coaster with a lunatic at the controls, but here is the thing... if we stay seated, hang onto the bar, don’t look down, keep our eyes fixed on our own journey, then we can endure even the bumpiest ride. The human heart is an amazing thing, capable of so much, and that, my sweet friends, is why I thank you for being!