Happy Herman's Hideaway

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Gobble, Swallow and then Wobble

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  • Happy Herman's Hideaway
    Happy Herman's Hideaway
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Hello, my San Saba loves, and how are you? I know it is Thanksgiving week, but there will be no gobble in my wobble, no tater mash in my stash or cranberry for me to carry. Nope, the parentals have decided this year Thanksgiving is just another day. Here is the thing, my darling friends: I am a dachshund, and I don’t know turkey from chicken. To me, delicious is simply a concept in my mouth, my ultimate goal, and I give great thanksgiving for it all! Hey, if I get to eat this Thursday, I will have a great Thanksgiving, be grateful for the life I have and love the life I am living!

Thanksgiving used to kick off the Christmas season, but these days as soon as Spring Break is over, the Christmas decorations go up in the stores! I hate that! Who wants to see Santa in March wearing Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt? Does the North Pole even have waves to surf? I think not! Can you imagine Santa even trying to stand on a surf board? I asked mom about it, and you should have heard the giggle she tried to suppress! You see, my mom is a BOI. No, that does not mean Bring Your Own Idiot. It means Born on the Island, and it is what people born in Galveston, Texas, are called. Mom was a teenager in the 1960’s when surfing was all the rage, and she grew up nine miles from the beach. I asked her if she ever went surfing. She smiled, got a wistful look in her eyes and said…“Yes, Herman, I did, and it was in 1960’s when surfboards were like 9’6” inches long. And even with that length, I drank more salt water than ever I surfed on, so can you imagine big old fat Santa doing anything other than doing jelly rolls in the surf? Yeah, mom is right. Santa belongs in Bermuda shorts after Spring Break like I belong in Antarctica on a scientific exploration expedition…not at all!

If turkeys gobble, why don’t they have us for Thanksgiving? All things considered, doesn’t it seem a bit backwards? If you ask me, the entire bird world is a bit bonkers…roosters crow, so what do crows do? What, mom? They caw? What the heck is that? Is that like caw 911; I see a vulture on the horizon? The world is so confusing I think I want to go home! Oh wait, I am home…I am just on the internet! I need to get off this place…it is like National Geographic on steroids! Oh well, I will think about all this when pigs fly! I met my new little next door neighbor puppy! Oh dear gosh, what an adorable ball of black and white fur he is! Wesley and Lori have themselves a real cutie pie to grow up with right there, and I may just have a new best friend because we got along famously! I could have stayed at their house all day playing. For once, I met someone who is as rambunctious as me!

Well, my darling friends, I hope you have the most wonderful holiday week. If you eat too much, just lie back on that old couch, snooze a bit, let your tummy rumble its way to readiness for more, and enjoy the day. Personally, I have much to be thankful for, not related to food. I have two adoring parentals who go out of their way to make my life truly wonderful, live in a nice home where I am truly sheltered, get to speak to you guys each week and you put up with me without writing me nasty notes asking me to hush! I love you so much, my dear ones, and you are definitely on my list of things for which to be thankful. Thank you for being!