I do not like television nearly as much as Harold. He watches the many sets we own, recently purchased a special WiFi device for one of the sets so he could watch Netflix picks on it and also watches shows on his computer. I suppose one could say Harold might have been a television in another life.I do, however, enjoy watching the show Survivor. People absolutely fascinate me and throw them in a situation where they have to scramble for their lives and my interest is immediately peeked. It is also fun to watch because it is so often obvious to both Harold and me how quickly I would either die or be voted off the island. We laugh about my severe aversion to cold, germs, filth, sharing food others have tasted, my intense need for privacy, and my blind trust of others. To say I would not do well on Survivor is like saying one of the Kardashian’s could not exist with a dollar a day allowance. In unison now, well duh!I think the show’s producers purposely look for that one person everyone takes great pleasure in disliking. I like to call that person the spoon because they are the one who stirs the Survivor pot. We all have a few people like those in our lives or perhaps even in our family. I like to think of them as little burs in the blanket that become so deeply embedded nothing can remove them and their existence is just irritating. Most of the people who manage to advance each week desperately want to pluck the bur from their midst but strategically think keeping them will increase their chances at winning the money.The show has particular significance this season because there has been so much talk of the destruction of the world as we know it and people having to survive for real. I do not think I would want to live in such a world. I guess I am just weird all the way round. I don’t believe life is life at any cost. It is a conversation I have had with Harold in a very real sense many times before.As I have talked before here, I have experienced cancer, up close and personal. I have always been very clear about what treatments I would accept and which I would not and I told Harold he would have to be okay with my decisions. My mom’s breast cancer was treated with chemo which caused a secondary and fatal stomach cancer and while she had an extra year of life, her death was agonizingly painful and tortuously long. She had an amazing attitude through it all but chose not to have any treatment for the stomach cancer. I watched an episode of something I think is called Doomsday Preppers and all I could think about was how sad I would feel living in such a state of paranoia, fear, heightened anxiety and dread all the time. I wondered what kind of quality of life there was to how they were living and what kind of quality of life they were giving to their children. To me, if one receives a priceless gift but keeps it in the box in which it was presented, never takes it out to enjoy, then not only was it not a gift but it is no longer even a thing of value. For me, life is about the day to day interactions, bumps, bruises, ups, downs and the sharing of all of it with others. I haven’t very much in this world but I would be lost if I was cautioned about or even stopped from sharing what I have with others. I guess I just don’t have the “it’s all mine” mentality although Harold really wishes I did sometimes. He gets a little irritated with my eagerness to hand things over without first checking if the recipients are worthy of the receiving. It is a battle we have been having for nearly forty years and I tell him it isn’t about the ones who are getting but about my right to give. I believe I was put on earth as an instrument of happiness. If I accomplish no other thing in a day I feel mine is not complete until I at least make someone smile, laugh or relinquish a burden…it is my life job. So, no, I would not do well at the game of Survivor or want to live in a world where it is every man for himself. I love you all with all my heart because it is what I was put on earth to do! Until next time, dear San Saba, and I hope there is a next time.