Hello good people of San Saba. I have once again borrowed mom’s laptop without permission because getting permission is just too tiring. We all know her propensity for verbosity and I have no wish to be rude but when she talks and talks and talks I just want to start barking really loud so she shuts up. Trust me, it is much easier for me to sneak away for a bit, type out a quick column, leave the laptop opened on her little portable desk and make her think she already started writing. The poor woman has lost a step or two since she has had to deal with all this medical stuff and while you may think it mean to use it to my advantage, a dachshund must do what he has to do.I have some really exciting news and I know you all will be so happy to hear it! I had this great idea that I could become a newspaper writer too and have my own column in the paper. I was thinking I could start a gossip column for San Saba…what do you guys think? Here is the thing though, I don’t want to write about people, I want to write about what goes on with the animals in town and don’t be saying that could include some people!Newsflash —San Saba welcomes its newest citizen, Charger, to its city limits. Charger is a large, speckled dog, with a deep, haunting bay, of a bark but is friendly and kind. He is the proud owner of a policeman but is not a police dog but he is one great patrolman and protector of all things in his territory. Between me, Charger and my other dachshund buddy next door, Killer, we have this block covered against any intruder!It is well known around town that Dauber, Dwayne Shaw’s little dachshund, has the reputation for being the instigator in his house for uprisings and turmoil. Well, guys, I have it on good authority it is outside forces that are the root of the problem. It seems there is a gang of cats that roam the neighborhood and are leading otherwise good dogs astray. These cats send telepathic messages to dogs and make them act in ways unbecoming to the species. Fear not little Dauber, we are on your side and next time you feel like ripping that toilet paper off that roller just stop, drop and remember your owner has guns!Note to the cats across the street, please stop using my back porch as your personal space and haven! I do not appreciate going out in the mornings and having to chase you off my property! In case you are not aware, there are laws governing trespass and those cat hairs you leave on the swing cushions are just disgusting! Good heavens, guys, have a little respect for the property of others please…no wonder people call us a bunch of animals!On a personal note, I have my mom wrapped around my little paw. Here is a hint for getting exactly what you want, when you want it and served on a silver platter. If you have been a daddy’s dog most of your life but feel the need for some pampering, switch to being a mommy’s boy or girl and get the vacation of your life! I did that recently and boy oh boy, I get tummy rubs and special food and car rides and everything I ever wanted! Mom’s are softer than dad’s. Well San Saba, I don’t know if you will go for my idea or whether you will like the idea of a gossip column about the pets of the city. I think if people would stop talking about each other and concentrate on improving themselves we would all be better off, don’t you? I love you all with all my heart, my mom loves you all with all her heart and you all should love each other with all your hearts!