Since when have sixteen year olds needed to use wrinkle cream? I just wondered because from the look of some of the models on the commercials for anti-aging creams they wouldn’t know a wrinkle unless it was in a shirt their mommy forgot to iron. I would like to know something else, do ordinary, regular looking women ever use make up? The women I see in all the commercials are exotic models who would cause wrecks if they stepped onto the street wearing a potato sack and absolutely no make up! Another thing, I suppose only really thin, athletic women actually need to look great and fashionable and all us other women just fall by the wayside and fend for ourselves the best we can, right? The only commercials where I see even half way ordinary people are ones for products no one really wants to admit they use, like septic tank leaks and garbage bag explosions or the like.

Okay, I would stand on a soap box but it probably would collapse because I am not a feather weight model! Actually, years and years and years ago, I was offered a modeling job and boy were my sons excited! I could see little dollar signs flashing in their eyes like slot machines but to their disappointment I did not even consider the offer. It was about the same time a commercial was on television where a woman actually said the lines:" Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!" I didn’t hate her. I don’t hate anyone but I would yell at the television and ask her if it was okay if I felt really sorry for her? The woman was a popular actress and had tons of money so she was not a young struggling actress trying to make her way. I didn’t like arrogance and I wondered how those images made the girls on the other side of the screen feel…scratch that, I knew on some level.

I have to tell you, if Mike Thomas showed up in my kitchen with a blue plastic phone and started talking about vanishing deductible and singing, I would be calling Ray Riggs and reaching for the nearest butter knife for protection and Mike even has a great singing voice! In addition, if I was out shopping for a new mattress and some guy who looked like a throw back from Starsky and Hutch stretched out on a mattress next to me started talking to me, Ray would be asking me when my forehead became one of those dry erase boards and who wrote the note saying weird people please talk to this woman! All this begs the question…Do the people behind these products think the people who watch them are stupid, deaf, from outer space or what?

Every single appliance and piece of furniture I have in my house came from Everett’s Furniture but I can promise you neither Brad nor Misty ever swirled around their showroom, waved their arms in the air or bounced up and down yelling that they were going to save me money! As a matter of reality, they did on more than a few occasions, save me money, give me great deals but we always spoke about it using our inside voices, there were no strobe lights used and if I remember correctly, all their feet were firmly planted on the floor! I have to say guys, I appreciated all of those things more than I did the saving money part. If people actually treated me the way they depict salesman on television, I would be sitting on hardwood floors, eating out at every meal, sleeping on a blow up mattress and oh yes, like a good neighbor…I would not be here! So tonight when your two year old asks for wrinkle cream, your dog wants the latest lipstick to impress the pug next door and your spouse tells you dinner would have been better if only you looked like the woman who cooked it in the commercial…turn off the television, hug your two year old, put the dog outside, put your husband outside, pick up a good book and go to the land of no commercials! I love you all with all my heart.