This is a topic that seems to get swept under the rug or ignored completely: Male Victims.

While the numbers are less than that of female victims the fact that there are numbers at all demands that we give prudence to this need. I, myself, was married to a batterer for 16yrs so I do not deminish the brutality toward women and/or children, but I can’t bury my head on this issue either.

Sad to say, there are more male victims than we can ever realize. Most will not come forward for fear of ridicule from their male peers. That needs to change. How will the female perpertrator ever be held accountable if the male victims do not feel comfortable in exposing her?

I’ve taken some stats from a web site that I found when doing research on male victims. I have even spoken with the lady that founded that outreach, yes Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men was founded by a woman.

Here are the stats:

Participants for the study were 434 callers who called DAHM & STV between March 2004 & June 2005 for whom data was collected by seven of the ten volunteers at DAHM & STV. This is an organization that reaches out to all victims of domestic abuse but especially male victims.

The results of that study done by Domestic Abuse Help-line for Men and Stop the Violence, Inc. July 13, 2005 is as follows:

Occupation of Callers- 17% unemployed, 13% disabled, 24% “Blue Collar” workers, 40% “White Collar” professionals, 4% retired, 1% in the military, 1% college students

Shelter- 16% of callers were in need of or seeking shelter.

Support Group - 53% indicated they were in need and/or seeking some type of support group.

Legal Assistance - 89% of callers indicated that they were in need and/or seeking legal assistance.

Financial Assistance - 13% indicated that they were in need and/or seeking financial assistance.

Types of Abuse Reported by Caller -

• 79% of callers indicated that they were being or have been physically abused by their intimate partners.
• 97% of callers indicated that they were being or have been psychologically/emotionally abused by their intimate partners.
• 31% of callers indicated that their intimate partners threatened to call the police and have them arrested on false domestic violence charges and/or file false protection from abuse orders as a means of keeping their intimate partners under their control and in the relationship. Also included in this statistic are callers who stated that their abusive female partners followed through on those threats once the partner left the relationship.
• 20% of callers indicated that their partners controlled the money in the relationship.
• 87% of callers indicated that they were being abused in multiple ways.

Children Living in the Home- 59% of callers indicated that there were young children living in the household.

Access to Currently Available Domestic Violence Victims Resources-

• 22% of callers indicated that they had requested services and support from police/domestic violence programs/family courts and services were denied them.
• 55% of callers indicated that they didn’t know where to go for help or were too embarrassed to ask for assistance from police/domestic violence programs/family courts.

• Here is one caller’s story: “M, a 37 year old ex-police officer with two young children is seeking a temporary safe haven from threats of serious violence from his ex-wife, who will be released from prison soon… In M’s case, attempts to access domestic violence resources increased his sense of fear and helplessness, particularly over the apparent lack of concern for the welfare of his children, who would receive no shelter from the violence of one parent simply because the other parent is male. The only help M obtained from a local domestic violence agency was a referral to a statewide ‘resource center’ for men, which turned out to be a program for batterers. DAHM confirmed with both agencies. The referring agency stated, ‘We send all our male callers there.’”

• “J tried to access the limited resources available in his area in an attempt to initiate couples counseling. Reaching out for help left J feeling further abuse; he was treated with suspicion, disbelief and thinly veiled accusations that he was a ‘batterer’. DAHM confirmed. The first response of the agency supervisor was, ‘Why would a man call a help-line if he were not the abuser?’”

For more information on this subject or if you are a male victim of domestic abuse please call DAHM (Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women) 1-888-743-5754 or go to their web site: www.dahmw.org. If you and anyone you know need help we are here for you. Call Off the Beaten Path Ministries, Inc. @ (325) 372-3276.