One of my favorite sayings is to out-love and out-last those who make life a challenge to improve your relationship with them. 1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
I've learned that though we can't manipulate forgiveness, we can work toward it. How? By admitting and feeling our pain while asking God to help us forgive. God offers us the gift of forgiveness, but because we have been hurt so severely, we often don't activate forgiveness in our relationships.
Instead, we close up to protect ourselves, and we can't receive the gift even when it is in front of our faces. This is true whether the gift is receiving forgiveness or offering forgiveness.
Unforgiveness blocks our ability to love; we will be motivated to be a forgiving person only if we've first decided to be a loving person.